Posted: 26 August, 2016

Motley Fool Money: Earnings Results In!

The Triple M financial gurus are back for your weekly Motley Fool Money.

This week, Andrew and Scott are all about results. 

Earnings results, to be specific. This week's MFM has all the big news and what it means for all the big banks, supermarkets and Australian brands: Coles, Woolies, The Reject Shop, QANTAS, Wesfarmers, Blackmores, Seek and more.

And the other big topic is: Profits vs Share Price. Why can one go up and the other go down?

Until next week: Fool On!



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Posted: 26 August, 2016

What's Doing? August 26-28

Your weekend sorted

(Image: Havana Brown)

The Alfred After Dark

Newly opened hotspot, The Alfred, is having a big one this weekend. The Alfred After Dark series starts tonight (Friday 26 August) when global superstar DJ Havana Brown is on the decks supported by some of the hottest female DJs on the scene. On Saturday 27, MTV are completing a takeover of The Alfred with Didier Cohen headlining the event supported by DJ Andy Murphy and DJs KIN. Hosted across two floors, two restaurants and two bars are spot on for partying after dinner.

$30 entry.


Live N Local

A whole weekend of great action rounding off the excellent Live N Local, which presents 50 artists in 40 venues across the City of Port Phillip as part of the St Kilda Festival. Take your pick from their gig guide but we recommend The Ugly Kings for a spot of top blues rock at Melbourne Moonshine this Saturday night from 9pm. Get there earlier to also enjoy Misson Brown and The New Savages.

8 George Street, South Melbourne.


The Big HOO-HAA! 

You haven’t been to The Big HOO-HAA? What is WRONG with you? Melbourne’s longest-running improve night takes place every delivers raw, hilarious comedy with many of the city’s best exponents of the art. Every night is different and it’s only $20-25.

Starts 8pm. The Butterfly Club, Carson Place.


Le Bon Ton

Had enough of Donald Trump but a taste for Americana? Le Bon Ton has the best briskets, burgers and bites from the Deep South. Two brothers born in Alabama and raised in Texas head the kitchen which explains why the food is so damn good. Great bar with range of beers and cocktails mean this is a good place for a long, cold winter afternoon.

51 Gipps St, Collingwood

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Posted: 26 August, 2016

The Remarkable, Controversial History Of The World Pie Eating Championship

Protests, Scandal, Dogs & Bloody Vegetarians

(Photo: Manchester Evening News)

The World Pie Eating Championships takes place every year and while it might lack some of the athleticism of Olympics events, its title winners are just as dedicated and fought off rivals just as determined. Here is its remarkable history, from dogs, anacondas, rugby players, vegetarians, numerous angry protests and idiot interns.


First held in 1992, the World Pie Eating Championship was the brain child of Tony Callaghan, owner of Harry’s Bar in Wigan, northern England.

The pies used to determine the world champion are made from local meat and potatoes and served at a consistent size and temperature to ensure fairness. Cube dimensions of the meat and potato pieces must be at least 1cm and meat must make up at least 66% of the contents (pastry excluded).

The inaugural winner was Dave Smyth who scoffed four pies in three minutes to claim the prize. The painter will go down in history as the World Pie Eating Championships’ equivalent of Edward Greeves Jr.

Originally the contest was not an annual event, so the second WPEC didn’t take place until 1995 when Dave Williams of Preston took home the crown.

1998 provided another Lancastrian winner as Scott Ormrod of Aspull, Wigan downed 11 pies in 30 minutes. Eleven. Impressive.

There was then a hiatus of seven years, presumably to let Scott Ormrod’s digestion resolve itself, until the next Championship in 2005. Anthony “The Anaconda” Danson, a weight trainer (from Lancashire, natch) stepped up and wolfed down seven pies in three minutes, a new world record.

A year later, controversy struck. Unsurprising given the fame and glamour the event was now attracting.

First, a campaign of “relentless pressure” was aimed at the World Pie Eating Championship by Keith Lorraine and Phil English of The Vegetarian Society. Under such force, Tony Callaghan allowed a vegetarian pie contest to run alongside the WPEC for the first time. It was a bit like the Paralympics (not that we’re saying vegetarians are in any way disabled).

Tony also had to change format after concerns were raised to meet government healthy-eating guidelines, which you wouldn’t have expected worried the organisers of a pie-eating tournament hugely, but there you go.

The new format gave each competitor one single pie measuring 12cm in diameter and 3.5cm deep. The vegetarian contest had pies of 10cm by 3cm.

Worst of all, the pies chosen had been imported from nearby Bolton rather than made in Wigan, which led to four men staging a protest outside Harry’s Bar at this foreign invasion compromising the integrity of the occasion. Later, in 2009, the pies were again sourced from outside Wigan, this time from Adlington, but no one could be fucked to protest.

In 2007, the winner was another Wigan local, as 42-year-old Adrian Frost set a new all-time record of 35.86 seconds.

However, scandal rocked the event yet again when the unimaginable happened – they ran out of pies before it was finished. Adrian Frost was named champion but there will always be a cloud over his achievement as a result of this fiasco.

It should be clarified though that the lack of pies was not entirely down to human error. A dog called Charlie was entered in the event and the night before the tournament he ate 20 pies and damaged a further 10 making them inedible. The fact the organisers still allowed Charlie to enter the next day is testament to their strong principles of fair play and sportsmanship. 

By now, the WPEC was an annual event and its popularity was such that the 2008 event was broadcast live on the internet thanks to…ahem… “pie-per-view”.

Competition was rapidly improving too. In 2009 the winning time, set by Barry Rigby, was 45 seconds. By 2010 and 2012 the times had come down to 23.91 and 22.53 seconds respectively.

That 2012 was a gentleman by the name of Martin Appleton Clare, who returned last year to regain his crown in the 2015 Championships from Barry Rigby who rolled back the years to match his 2009 achievement in 2014.

However, the real talking point from 2014 was not Rigby’s win but the biggest controversy to ever hit the World Pie Eating Championship.

The contestants were all set to scoff but the pies they were due to be eating had been sent to a nearby divorce party (apparently they have those in Wigan, England). The guilty party was an intern, who failed to understand the importance and prestige of the pies he was delivering and accidentally sent them to ex-husband and friends.

This debacle was the subject of a reality television show in the UK “Judge Rinder”, who listened to the case of the Head of the World Pie Eating Championships but awarded him nothing.

The championships take place each December in Wigan town centre at “pie noon” (midday), starting with heats before a grand final. Rules updates have included the banning of Performance Enhancing Substances, namely gravy and even cough syrup to stop dry throats.

See, just like the Olympics. 

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Posted: 25 August, 2016

Beer Production Halted At The Brewery That Makes VB

Not the beer!

Hundreds of workers at Carlton and United Breweries — the company that makes, VB, Carlton Draught, Crown Lager and other such deliciousness — walked off the job today, bringing beer production to a halt.

Production lines stopped for three hours as production and distribution workers had a stop-work meeting in solidarity with the brewery’s maintenance workers.

The 55 workers have been picketing outside the gates of the plant for ten weeks since losing their jobs and refusing new contracts.

Striking workers are warning that “escalating action” could threaten supplies to pubs and bottleos.

For the sake of all beer drinking Aussies, we hope it gets sorted out soon.

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Tags: VB, Beer, CUB

Posted: 25 August, 2016

8 Things You Can’t See From The Golden Gate Bridge

You’re gonna need to get amongst it

(Photo: Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco)

One of the most famous things in San Francisco is the Golden Gate Bridge, but you can’t head to the bridge and expect to see everything San Fran has to offer.

Here are 8 things you need to get a good look at while you’re in San Francisco (other than the bridge).


Haight Street is where hippies lived in the ‘60s. There might not be as many hippies there today, but there are some cool stores, like record shops and dance clubs that’ll send you back a few decades.

A photo posted by @tebizzle on


Cable Cars

There are two cities knows for their trams. Melbourne and San Fran. Just because you’ve seen an Aussie tram, it doesn’t mean you’ve seen a San Fran cable car.




If you’re travelling with kids, or you want to be a big kid for a day, head to the Exploratorium. It’s a science museum that’ll bring out your inner nerd.



You haven’t been to Chinatown unless you’ve been to San Fransico’s Chinatown. It’s the biggest outside of China and many reckon it’s the best for Chinese food, theatres and shops outside of China. It’s worth wandering through.


A Zig Zag Street

You would know of Lombard Street, even if you haven’t heard of it. You would have seen this curvy street in many movies and TV shows.


A photo posted by 鍾乙蔓 (@hanachung_0623) on

The Castro

Like Lombard Street, you would have heard or seen references to The Castro in many shows and movies. The Castro is famous for its LGBTQI community and the gay rights movement. This neighbourhood also and is getting more attention for its awesome cafes, restaurants, live music and comedy.



If you’re there during the NFL season, catch a San Francisco 49ers game at Levis Stadium.


A Prison

You can technically see Alcatraz from the Golden Gate Bridge… but you can’t see it. Take a boat out to the island and go on a tour to one of the most famous jails in history. 

A photo posted by silvia (@silvia_perini) on


That's a list of all the things you can't see from the Golden Gate Bridge... But you can't see any of it sitting on your bum. Get over to San Fransico with our special deal from Flight Centre return from Adelaide for just $882. 


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Posted: 25 August, 2016

48 Hours In Athens

9 must-sees in the Greek capital so you don’t come acropolis

(Photo: The Acropolis, Athens)

Athens is the perfect base to go off and explore the Greek islands, but it’s such a unique, historic city that you want to make the most of your time however long you’re there for.

Don’t make the mistake many do by not leaving yourself enough time to fully appreciate Athens. But if time is tight and you only have 48 hours to explore the Greek capital, below the must-see places so you make the most of it.

Thinking of a trip to Athens? Triple M are partnering with Flight Centre to give you an Amazing Athens Return from Melbourne for just $874 when you travel between 20 Jun and 31 Oct 2017.   


The Acropolis & Acropolis Museum

The Acropolis gets bloody hot and bloody busy. But it’s the ultimate must-see for any visit to Athens, so head there early in the morning or late in the day, when also the light for your photographs is much better. The sacred religious centre was first built on this piece of rock in the 11th century BC. The Parthenon is as impressive as its history, first as a temple to the Goddess Athena, then in its intervening years as Christian church, Roman Catholic church, Islamic mosque, and now tourist attraction. And even more impressive still is the 360-degree view of Athens beneath you. The area is still undergoing extensive restoration but remains one of the most spectacular sights in the world. 

The Acropolis Museum is a burst of ultra-modern architectural beauty to complement the striking modern sculptures elsewhere. There has been a museum on this site since 1863 but it was refurbished as recently as 2007 and now has the ultimate explainer on all things Acropolis. Take in the movie on the top floor, then take your pic from the other exhibits that tell the story of this iconic attraction.


See The Changing Of The Guard At Syntagma Square

Syntagma Square is your stop for the Greek Parliament and the Tomb of The Unknown Soldier. Every hour the Changing Of The Guard draws a good crowd as the Evzones – wearing traditional red hat, shoes with pom-poms, white stocking and dress – swap over shifts. A photo is fine but best not take the piss. They don’t like that.

ATHENS, GREECE - APRIL 15, 2016: Evzones also known as Tsolias change guards by the tomb of the unknown soldier in front of the Greek parliament located on the corner of Syntagma square on April 15, 2016 in Athens, Greece. The Greek Presidential Guards are part of the Helenic Army and their role is only ceremonial. (Photo by Kaveh Kazemi/Getty Images) 


Get A Cup of Greek Coffee At To Kaveneio

One of the city’s great traditional coffee shops for a morning pick-me-up before hitting the streets of Athens. Located in the heart of the bustling Plaka area on Epicharmou 1. More Greeks start the day with a coffee and a cigarette than a Greek yoghurt, so why not join them?


The National Garden, The Temple Of Olympian Zeus & Hadrian’s Arch

Get your phone ready for a ton of great photos, first as you walk through the National Garden, and then of the Temple of Olympian Zeus and Hadrian’s Arch. The temple has stood for well over two thousand years, having been one of the largest in the ancient world. Just beyond the temple is Hadrian’s Arch, which dates to the same age, built to honour The Emperor Hadrian for his works. It also used to symbolize the boundary between the old and new city.


Monastiraki Square

“The one with the church in the middle of it” as it’s known to tourists. Again, very photogenic, a very good selection of places to eat, and very close to Ermou if you want to shop. Other sites nearby are Roman Agora, the Library or Hadrian and the Clock of Kyristos. Easy to spend a whole afternoon around here and if you have a group who want to see different things, you can go your separate ways and arrange to meet back at the little church.

ATHENS, GREECE - APRIL 14, 2016: Tourists gather around street performers in Monastiraki square, old town, on April 14, 2016 in Athens, Greece. (Photo by Kaveh Kazemi/Getty Images) 


Agora Marketplace

The heart of ancient Athens in the age of Socrates and Plato. Stroll around the streets, soaking up the classical vibe while browsing the vendors and their wares. Check out the glass bridge over the remains of Greek burial grounds at Monastiraki metro station.


Eat The Best Souvlaki In Athens

Huge shout, and there’s plenty of excellent competition for the title, but a friend from Athens reckons Thanasis Souvlaki is recognized as the official best souvlaki in town, so that’s good enough for us. It’s certainly got a fantastic reputation and been around for years. Test it out for yourself.


National Archaeological Museum of Athens

Discover the incredible history of one of the world’s oldest civilisations. The displays are excellent, explaining everything from Stone Age Gods from 6000 BC to Homer (not that one), Zeus and Poseidon. Join a guided tour for even more insight. Just a shortish ride on the metro out to Omonia.


Take A Food Walking Tour

You’ve done the moussaka. You’ve done the gyros. Now you’ve got the taste, you want a tour to show you the real foodie side of Athens. A three hour walk with Athens Walking Tour ( costs under AUD$100.

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Posted: 24 August, 2016

The 7 Types Of Pie Eaters At The Footy

You’ll see a few of these guys this weekend.

Pie eating is a skill you learn early and perfect over time. Dunno if you’ve noticed, but a large number of blokes who enjoy a pie at the footy fall into one of 7 categories. We’ve listed them below.


The Rookie

This bloke will go for a huge first bite and soon realise the meat inside was a lot hotter than he thought. You can spot a bloke who has just made the number one rookie mistake by the way he spits it out, or by the way he dances around doing a weird blowing action cos he’s got a mouthful.


The Shoveler

He goes about a pie in a similar way to the Rookie but he has no issue with trying to get the whole thing in his gob in one go. Who knows why a bloke wouldn’t want to savour his Four’n Twenty. Maybe he wants spend less time eating and more time coaching his team.


The Dissector 

This guy’s a weirdo. He’ll take his pie out of the plastic sleeve, place it on his lap like a plate with the pie on top. Then he’ll whip out a plastic fork, peel the lid off the pie and eat that. Then munch on the meat. Then dispatch the remaining pastry.


The Loader

He’ll load up with everything he can. You’ll see him walking back to his seat with his footy record under one armpit, a coke under the other one. Phone in one hand while trying to eat a pie that’s in the other, sauce dripping down his front.


The Cow

You’ve seen a guy like this. He chews with his mouth open – as a bovine would, meat and sauce falls on his pants and the poor family in front of him gets chucks of meat sprayed at them as he gives the opposition a spray.


The Pretty Boy

His mouth can’t do hot things so will leave his pie to cool down for half an hour so he doesn’t burn his little sensitive tongue. Ship off mate!


The Boycotter

Usually he’d load up his pie with more sauce than pie but he’ll take a stand and boycott sauce all together if he has to pay a cent for it. He’ll complain about it too.


Enjoy a pie at the footy? Good news: we've teamed up with Four N' Twenty to make our very own footy pie. Coming soon to a footy stadium (and freezer section) near you. 

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Posted: 24 August, 2016

The 15 Funniest Jokes From The Edinburgh Fringe Festival

One-liners galore.

The funniest jokes of 2016’s Fringe festival have been announced.

2,000 people voted on Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe, with Masai Graham coming out top for his gag about organ donation.


The Top 15 Funniest Jokes From The Fringe

1. ”My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card. He's a man after my own heart" - Masai Graham

2.”Why is it old people say "there's no place like home", yet when you put them in one…" - Stuart Mitchell

3. ”I’ve been happily married for four years - out of a total of 10" - Mark Watson

4. ”Apparently 1 in 3 Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed which is mad because those places are really well lit" - Mark Smith

5. ”I went to a pub quiz in Liverpool, had a few drinks so wasn't much use. Just for a laugh I wrote The Beatles or Steven Gerrard for every answer… came second" - Will Duggan

6. ”Brexit is a terrible name, sounds like cereal you eat when you are constipated" - Tiff Stevenson

7. ”I often confuse Americans and Canadians. By using long words" - Gary Delaney

8. ”Why is Henry's wife covered in tooth marks? Because he's Tudor" - Adele Cliff

9. ”Don't you hate it when people assume you're rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?" - Annie McGrath

10. ”Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask" - Jordan Brookes

11. ”Hillary Clinton has shown that any woman can be President, as long as your husband did it first" - Michelle Wolf

12. ”I spotted a Marmite van on the motorway. It was heading yeastbound" - Roger Swift

13. ”Back in the day, Instagram just meant a really efficient drug dealer" - Arthur Smith

14. ”I’ll tell you what's unnatural in the eyes of God. Contact lenses" - Zoe Lyons

15. ”Elton John hates ordering Chinese food. Soya seems to be the hardest word" - Phil Nicol


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Posted: 23 August, 2016

The Ultimate Half-Time Food - Rated & Revealed

Half time orange or hot dog? Pretzel or pie?

Are you the kind for a half-time orange or a hot dog? Pretzel or pie?   

We’ve taken Australia’s favourite half-time snacks and rated them according to science, considering their nutrients and how they help you perform, and also how they taste, of course.

Does your favourite come out on top? Scores are out of ten, based on a totally scientific analysis. Disclaimer: Findings may not necessarily improve your performance. But they’ll be bloody tasty.



The old staple. We’ve all been passed the segments of orange when we played sport as a kid and sunk our teeth into them in the belief they were the ultimate healthy half-time food. And they do contain a good mix of cards and fluids. But they lack electrolytes and the fructose in them actually causes stomach issues when you’re running around in the second half.


AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND - JUNE 01: Oranges at half time during the Ponsonby vs Eden eight year old childrens rugby match at Coxs Bay Reserve on June 1, 2013 in Auckland, New Zealand. Rugby Union is the unofficial national sport of New Zealand and is often referred to by New Zealanders, as an integral part of their culture.  (Photo by Phil Walter/Getty Images) 


Premier League footballers Paul Scholes and Ryan Giggs who played for Manchester United for over twenty years used to eat Fig Rolls every half-time to give them the right mix of simple and complex carbs and sugars for consistent energy. Taste is pretty good too. Here in Australia you can find Fig Rolls in some supermarkets but any fruit biscuit will do a similar job. The sports scientists’ choice for half-time.




Not a popular choice. Unconventional even. But the carb count and high sodium in pretzels makes them a good half-time choice. Much better than you’d expect.




Americans swear by them and there’s much to admire about the Hot Dog. Mainly on a taste level rather than its health benefits though, especially when you throw on onions, ketchup and mustard – absolutely fundamental assets to the hot dog experience. There’s a reason Americans all weigh 300 pounds. And minus points for the quality of the sausage compared to an Aussie snag. But the size, bun and condiments are all big plusses.


EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - SEPTEMBER 5:  A fan of the New York Giants grills up burgers and hotdogs for a tailgate party before the game against the San Francisco 49ers on September 5, 2002 at Giants Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey. The 49ers won 31-7.  (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images) 


The tradition of eating cakes, sandwiches and biscuits at the break in a cricket match is, for many, the highlight of the whole match. But it won’t do you many favours in terms of your health. The carbs are too high, the colourings and additives can negatively influence behavior and the amount you generally eat leaves you in no real state to spring around the cricket pitch for another three hours. Thankfully, it’s cricket so you don’t have to spring anywhere. Now. Pass us back that caramel slice.




When you play sport, your carb levels rapidly deplete. You also see a drop in sodium, zinc, calcium and iron. All these are found in your humble footy pie. And sports science shows us you are better at sport when you're warm. But let’s face it, it’s not science that makes you call on a good old Four N Twenty. It’s the taste. And, for that reason, we can’t find any fault at all with them. Okay, maybe it’s not going to do much for your electrolytes or hydration, but just grab an energy drink from the bar while you’re at it.


PERTH, AUSTRALIA - JULY 25: Spectators eat meat pies before the start of the round 18 AFL match between the West Coast Eagles and the Richmond Tigers at Patersons Stadium on July 25, 2014 in Perth, Australia.  (Photo by Paul Kane/Getty Images) 

Share our passion for pies? Good news - we're making our very own Triple M footy pie. Watch this space for a big announcement over the flavour and where you can get it...coming soon. 

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Posted: 20 August, 2016

Famous Canadian Dick Assman Dies

Rest in peace.

(Image: Twitter)

Famous Canadian man Dick Assman has died aged 82.

Richard Arthur Assman earned fame for his great name, catching the attention of The Late Show with David Letterman in 1995.

Assman - who pronounced it as 'oss-man' - worked as a petrol station attendant and manager his whole life, and also as a mechanic.

He became a household name, being featured in People magazine and even recording a single in the 1990s.

He died peacefully on August 15.

Rest in peace, buddy.

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Posted: 19 August, 2016

There's A New Rooftop Bar Opening In Melbourne

This looks great.

Fonda Mexican has opened up their rooftop with a new bar.

The rooftop bar will open in a couple of weeks and extends on the Mexican restaurant below.

The bar's located on Chapel St and gets plenty of sun, so it looks pretty sick.

It follows news Fancy Hank's and Mr Burger have teamed up to open a new rooftop venue in Bourke St this September.

Good areas all round.

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Tags: Melbourne

Posted: 19 August, 2016

Motley Fool Money: Why None Of Us Are Getting A Raise

Spectacular Rates of Unemployment

This week's look at the world of money with Triple M's financial gurus, the Motley Fools.

Andrew Page and Scott Philips return with the answers to key questions in this week's money podcast. 

Stats show that we're not getting raises. Does this apply to you? The Fools look at what that means and how it affects you.

The release of spectacularly great unemployment figures got everyone excited. Is Scott really going to piss over our firework? He reckons there's a secret behind the numbers that paints a less rosy picture. What's "underemployment" and what does a rise in it mean to you?

All in this week's Motley Fool Money. Until next week - Fool On!

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Tags: Motley Fool Money