Rules For Being A Man | The Grill Team

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Rules For Being A Man Post by: The Grill Tean 17 November, 2009 - 8:14 AM

It's not a secret society, but there are some unwritten rules for being in the collective club known as men.

There are things known and some things that can get a bit blurry when you are a man. However, there are some borders that don't get crossed under any circumstances.

For example:

Always look annoyed when you have been asked by your partner to hold her handbag.

Men do not share umbrellas, unless it is raining at the footy and your pie is getting wet.

Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

There is no reason for guys to watch ice skating or mens gymnastics.

Have you got a rule for being a man, please add it to the list?

Here are the rules so far:
1. If you don't drink, you can't be trusted.
2. You don't steal your best mates girl.
3. You must not own facial products.
4. No haircut can cost more than $21.95
5. Budgie smugglers are not to be worn... ever!
6. Men can't eat quiche.
7. Salad is not a main course.
8. No tofu may be consumed under any circumstances.
9. You can not spend more than the cost of a box of beer on a mate's present.
10. You must be invited before taking over another man's BBQ.
11. All hamburgers must contain cheese, bacon, egg, cooked onion, beetroot and tomato sauce. No pineapple or mayo.
12. A man should ALWAYS sit in the front of a taxi.
13. A man must never sign off on a text message with xx or xo.
14. A man can be a vegetarian.
15. Real men must watch sport.
16. Men do not need to know how to play poker.
17. A man can not rub sunscreen on another man.
18. No man shall spend more than two minutes in front of the mirror.
19. A real man shall not use a hairdryer or straightener.
20. A man CAN shave his arms, legs, chest & head. He CAN NOT shave his man bits.
21. The only time a woman can drive a man's car is if he's drunk.
22. A man shall not drink beer that is more expensive than his own at a BBQ.
23. Real men CAN own small dogs.
24. Real men CAN play mixed netball.
25. Real men DO NOT wear crocs.
26. Real men CAN wear an earring but no more than one and only to the age of 40.
27. Real men choose the urinal over the cubicle.
28. Real men can share a bed.
29. Real men must be able to watch horror movies.
30. Real men CAN show their arse crack in public.
31. Real men MUST be able to drive a manual car.
32. If you date your best mates sister, you must marry her.
33. On a mini-bus trip, the strongest bladder does not determine the pit stops
34. Real men CAN NOT wear a ponytail.
35. Real men CAN be afraid of small animals.
36. Real men propose, they don’t leave it to their girlfriends.
37. Real men don't watch figure skating.
38. Real men DON'T cry listening to songs.
39. Real men CAN handle hot food.
40. Real men drive shirtless.
41. Real men can get naked in front of other blokes.
42. Real men DO NOT dye their hair.
43. Real men DO NOT perve on their partner's friends.
44. Real men CAN wear pink shirts.
45. Real men must be a member of their footy club.
46. Real man can cry at their own wedding.
47. A real man watches their team play live.
48. A real man likes his steak rare.
49. Real men can light a fire.
50. Real men don't own a cat.
51. Real men pay the cab fare if they sit in the front.

Also See On Triple M

Jimmy Barnes Takes The Man Test

We know he can sing and drink and fight, but just how much of a man is Jimmy.

Watch the video now

Comments

Leave your comment

Colin Conway says
I'm not entirely impressed with rule 1, I love a drink but due to a medical condition I've had 2 weeks without a drink (and at least 2 more) so for that reason I apparently can't be trusted - bit weak I think!
Posted Wednesday 18 November, 2009 1:17 PM
Mick says
You cannot eat quiche, you must not put the toilet seat down after lifting it up for a wizz - must also stand and not sit to wizz
Posted Wednesday 18 November, 2009 8:26 PM
Dom says
When camping, do not place your mat within 6 feet of another man even if it means you have to buy a bigger tent.
Posted Sunday 22 November, 2009 12:12 AM
kate says
should be able to see a guys eyes - hair should be short not long!
Posted Sunday 22 November, 2009 11:03 PM
mark says
Always up size your meal at any Fast Food joint. If up size is not an option then order something additional.
Posted Tuesday 24 November, 2009 12:55 PM
mark says
Regardless of how hot it is you cannot use an umbrella to shade yourself from the sun. If it is that hot you should be at the pub.
Posted Tuesday 24 November, 2009 12:57 PM
Steve says
If you are going bald no stupid combovers allowed,be a man and shave your noggin.Also no Warnie hair replacement regimes allowed.
Posted Wednesday 25 November, 2009 9:15 AM
Heath Pylyp says
You cant have a stupid look at me ringtone, unless itsfrom the "FULLY LOADED CAN" commercial
Posted Wednesday 25 November, 2009 8:45 PM
Jill says
What's this crap at rule 11?
I may be a girl but I've spent enough years as keeper of the keys at BBQs and running programmes for young guys to know that this is WAY to complex....
Seriously guys ... keep it simple:
(a) If its serve yourself - bread, meat, sauce ... onions if they're there. The rest is girl food AND takes too long. You might miss out on seconds!
(b) If someone else is making it - the lot. This is quick. It's easy. They can't stuff it up. If there's anything really that bad, you can remove it later.
Anything else is WAY too much effort!
Posted Monday 30 November, 2009 11:34 PM
SHORIE says
Great show guys, I have never laughed so much on the way to work. But rule 5 shouldn't it be NO budgie smugglers at the beach.
Rule # ? A hangover is never an excuse, to not catch up.
Posted Tuesday 1 December, 2009 7:27 PM