Golf is a good walk spoiled… is a wonderful quote possibly said by Winston Churchill (some people say mark Twain but the exact origins of the line is unknown) which can be very accurate.
I am a limited golfer and I do enjoy the social aspect of the game and love being outside sharing the pleasant surroundings of the course. In saying that, the golf course can be the loneliest place on earth, especially when your game is consistently going awry. After a recent round, I decided to wrack my brains and come up with some helpful hints for the next time you grab the clubs and head down to your local course. I promise these will lead to some sort of improvement!
- HIT THE BALL – this may seem obvious, I promise you there will come a time when you ‘top’ a ball, or ‘skinny’ it, not achieving great connection and sending the white dimples askew. Sometimes you may have the unfortunate misfortune of missing the stationary object all together (or like me miss it completely twice in a row). You see, the object of the game of golf is to transport the ball from one point into a hole, and hitting the thing is necessary to transport closer towards your objective. If you miss it you will not achieve this. So, watch it closely with your eyes, keep your head down, and hopefully you make some sort of contact that will eventuate in propelling the ball in some sort of direction that with aid your mission of landing it somewhere close to the flag and hole.
- DO NOT HIT THE BALL INTO THE BUSHES – point one is crucial, but this one is also important. Golf courses consist of generally 9 or 18 holes, which involve ‘fairways’, ‘greens’, ‘tee-boxes’ and ‘roughs’, these are the types of terrain you can expect throughout the course. Going back to point 1, hitting the ball is crucial, but easier if you are doing so from a ‘tee-box’, ‘fairway’ or ‘green’. If you hit the ball into the bushes, two things become apparent. It is difficult to find and retrieve your ball but also, it is difficult to hit. I recommend not hitting it into the bushes, to save time and distress. In addition, often the bushes are out-of-bounds, therefore you will be penalised a shot, which will add to your frustration.
- PACK SOME WATER – This will come in handy if you happen to hit your ball into the bush. Searching the bush for your ball in the hot Esperance sun is thirsty work, so I recommend a large water bottle filled with some sort of aqueous liquid, such as water.
- BRING MULTIPLE BALLS – If you consistently fail on point two then you will increase the likelihood of losing your golf ball. Bring more balls so you can continue playing. This will bear a financial and emotional cost however.
- (For males only) HIT IT PAST THE LADIES TEE – this point is important, as failure to do this will cost you a round of alcohol at the clubrooms after the round is complete. It is apparently tradition to celebrate/mock your failings from the tee-box with a round for the entire playing group once the game of golf is complete. The round is paid for out of your pocket.
- WEAR A SMILE ON YOUR FACE J - at the end of the day it is just a game, and it is great to walk around with your mates and hit a ball with a stick. The bigger the smile the more likely you can hide the crushing humiliation you feel in your heart.