The Boxing Day Test is one of Australia’s greatest tradition, and the Aussie cricket team were lucky enough to be addressed by the Prime Minister ahead of play this morning.
The PM was “as dusty as a Mumbai track on the fifth day” after cracking into some Sangiovese and having “skinned up a fatty with Lucy to take the edge off”.
He spoke about how he loves to say ‘Usman Khawaja’ and his rhyming slang for Uzzie’s surname - “when I lose my phone charger I say to Lucy ‘where’s my Usman?’”.
He also spoke about Warnie’s spit roast Christmas, and how we should extend some compassion to the Poms because they’re “shit people from a shit country.”
He closed with a joke about getting his prostate checked.
Have a listen to the hilarious audio here:
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