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Jarrod Mullen says he's having trouble accepting his four-year drug ban because his taking of a banned steroid was unintentional.
The former Newcastle captain was suspended under the NRL's anti-doping policy this year, after he tested positive for the steroid Drostanolone.
The 30-year-old Mullen, who has regularly battled injuries throughout his 211-game NRL career, claims he sought treatment from an unnamed medico for an injured hamstring.
"I trusted the bloke I'd known him for 10 years. He tossed up an amino acid injection to help with the healing," Mullen told the Seven Network.
"If I was intentionally going out there to improve myself to get bigger faster stronger, I'm happy to cop the four years.
"It's just ruined my life."
Mullen said he re-injured the hamstring two weeks after the injection, and refused to 'dob in' the medico that supplied the drug despite the possibility of having his suspension reduced by two years in a deal with the Australian Sports Anti-Doping Authority.
"I just want to say that I take full responsibility for, sort of, what happened," he said.
"I'm not here to blame anyone else."
The full interview with Mullen will be aired by the Seven Network tonight at 6pm.