Ex-Sperm-Inate: People Reckon This "Sperm Extracting Machine" Looks Like A Dalek

Build it and they will come

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Back to the Future may have correctly predicted that we'd be using video conference technology and drones by now but funnily enough, a robot to help with masturbation was never on the agenda.

But, because we're increasingly unable to do anything for ourselves, a sperm extraction machine has been dreamed up, built and is selling in its thousands - and there's a video to prove it.


According to the Sun, the "automatic sperm extractor" was created in China in response to concerns of a nation-wide sperm shortage.

While the (state-run) media is campaigning hard for the country's men to step up and "show their compassion", a number of prospective donors have said that they're uncomfortable with the idea of helping themselves in a clinical set-up.

So, obviously, the only answer is a robot with a "lubricated pipe" resembling a "female organ" that does all the "massaging" and "stimulating" for you.

"Hospitals mostly use masturbation as their collection method without providing a venue or equipment," inventor Ding Guijiang said. 

"This makes collecting sperm on site very difficult. We invented an automatic sperm extractor which is also user friendly.

"First of all it stimulated a female organ and then replicates the physical movements of sexual intercourse by moving back-and-forth."

Except what it does and what it looks like are two very different things.


Aesthetics aside, the machine is already hot property, with about 10,000 sold each year at a cool $9,000 a piece and shipped to countries like Germany, Russia, France and the US.

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Triple M Staff

12 April 2019

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Triple M Staff

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