Howie's Son's Foolproof Plan To Fix Collingwood

Always Try And Wear Footy Boots

3 July 2017

Article heading image for Howie's Son's Foolproof Plan To Fix Collingwood

The infamous ‘Big Penguin’, son of MMM Winter Breakfast host Mark Howard, has a foolproof plan to improve the stumbling season of the Collingwood Magpies.


Nathan Buckley's team are currently lingering at 14th on the ladder with a 5-9 record, seemingly needing all the help they can get.


Up steps The Big Penguin to lend a helping hand.


The footballing guru’s plan to fix the Pies was an exclusive on this morning’s show, with the die-hard Hawks fan only happy to help out an opposing team. 


The Penguins plan is this: 


  • Not give it to the other team
  • Not let ‘them’ get the ball
  • Not let ‘them’ touch it
  • Always try and wear footy boots
  • When the drink carriers come out, always get a drink
  • When it’s half time, or something, go to the loo and have a wee or a poo




Hopefully Bucks was listening because this feedback is absolutely genius: hold onto the footy, remember to wear your boots, keep hydrated, and have a wee or a poo at halftime (or whenever).


The four-point plan has even received a glowing review from comedian and avid footy fan Will Anderson






If they take that advice into their weekend match-up against Essendon, the Pies might just turn their season around!

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