READ | Lou Richards’ Hilarious Directions For His Own Funeral

Former North Melbourne chief executive Ron Joseph used his eulogy to speak of Lou Richards own thoughts for his funeral. 

In classic Lou style, he makes gags about some of footy's biggest names including Jack Dyer, Ron Casey, Bobby Davis and even for commission boss Mike Fitzpatrick. 

RON JOSEPH: Lou was right. He told me his farewell would be bigger than Texas.

He also told me that I’d have to speak at his funeral. “All the other people I know are dead,” he said.

"You better start thinking about what you're going to say. Because it'll be a bloody big funeral.

Harold Holt will have nothing on mine.

I had a house down at Portsea near him you know. He didn't drown. He took off with a sheila.

There will be a state funeral just like his. So that will give Jack and Bobby Davis the shits.

If it's at St. Pauls they won’t fit them in the joint. Don't let them have it at Jeff’s shed. That's a cold hole... like Jeff.

It will be a telecast around Australia, might even be around the world. So you better be ready to talk on national television Ronny. And don't stuff it out. You're bloody lucky to get this opportunity. You know. No one else will give it to you.

Tell Nicole and Kim to make sure they get a good quid for the television rights. If Seven are covering it tell the girls to charge double. Casey paid me back a rule for all the time I spent with him at 3DB and Channel 7.

He was a good bloke Case. Edna and I loved our time with Ron and Pauline. But he was tight, tight as a fishes.

EJ’s was a state funeral too. I’m bigger than Ted ever was. I nicknamed him Mr football and he believed it for the rest of his life.

I called Barrassi Mrs football too, of all the blokes I've nicknamed over the years Barrassi is about the only one that ever lived up to his moniker.

And if that Mike Fitzpatrick is at my funeral, you know the bloke who used to play for Carlton - the Rhodes Scholar. Rhodes Scholar my bum.

Tell him I said that he spent too much time at Oxford and Cambridge and can't recognise a legend when he sees one."