We're <This Close> To Being Able To Drink Alcohol Without A Hangover
Cheers to that
Why this isn't already a thing is beyond us but finally, finally, scientists seem to be applying those brains of theirs to solving the real problems of our time.
Oh yes, that's right: Hangover-free alcohol exists, and it's this close to being available at the local RSL.
We're talking a future with no beer sweats, no damage to our livers and no feeling like a tiny man has taken up residence in our head with an equally tiny, but very real, jackhammer.
According to reports, Alcarelle is a synthetic alcohol substitute based around molecules known as "alcosynth" which will allow you to get just drunk enough, but without the negative side effects.
It will also prevent you from getting too pissed - which means no more Sunday Fear.
The man behind the miracle brew is Professor David Nutt, who has managed to figure out which receptors in our brains can be triggered to give you that feeling of being slightly buzzed and made sure Alcarelle targets only those.
And it's about five years away from being in pubs.
"There will obviously be testing to check the molecule is safe," Professor Nutt told The Guardian. "And we need to show that it's different from alcohol.
"We will demonstrate that it doesn't produce toxicity like alcohol does.
"And of course we don't want hangovers. We have to show it doesn't have the bad effects of alcohol."
All in favour of Professor Nutt getting a Nobel Prize say "Aye"?