We never, ever thought we'd be writing "cereal" and "masturbation" in the same sentence but here we are.
A startling tweet from Dan Snow - AKA @TheHistoryGuy - has answered a question we hadn't thought to ask: Why were Corn Flakes invented?
Snow reckons that John Harvey Kellogg of the Kellogg's cereal dynasty came up with the corn cereal in an effort to stop guys rubbing one out.
Corn Flakes were introduced in the late 19th century and Kellogg was marketing the breakfast food as a "healthy, ready-to-eat anti-masturbatory morning meal".
You know what's great with an anti-masturbatory morning meal? Milk.
Apparently Kellogg was a staunch Seventh-day Adventist who firmly believed sex - whether alone or with someone - was unhealthy and immoral.
And he practised what he preached, too; he never consummated his marriage, slept in a separate room to his wife and all of his children were adopted.
Since he believed that meat and rich foods would increase a person's sexual desire, he set about creating plain foods - like Corn Flakes - to suppress it.
While we can't say that Kellogg's plan worked entirely, we reckon you'd be hard-pressed to find someone who's had a bat over a bowl of cereal.